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On Grief and Good Friends

I am perfectly aware how this cancer just might take me within the next two years – or I might beat the odds and live another decade or two. Who knows?

I was talking to my longtime friend “Z” the other day. Z is the smartest person I know… always full of brilliant nuggets of wisdom without meaning to be that way. It’s just the way his brain thinks. We’ve known each other for half our lives. If I need some perspective, I go to Z.

Z knows that I have no fear of dying and never have. What I hated and feared was leaving my friends in grief. Having them go through the whole pain and loss thing because of me. Dying doesn’t suck, in my opinion. However having your good friends go through a bunch of grief and pain… THAT just really sucks.

I told Z that I kinda wished I could somehow avoid getting my friends all upset. Maybe gently withdraw somehow before kicking off so it would not be so bad for them, or something.

Zim asked a heck of a good question: “Would it be better to know that people loved you enough to miss you, or to die having to know that no one cared that you were gone?”

Wow.

Way to go, Z. Thanks. :)

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